As events occur to us they cause emotion. The quality of the emotions that arise for us is a product of the event that evokes them. We get to choose whether we feel but not what we feel. The feelings will dissipate once they are fully felt.
We do best when we fully feel all our feelings as they arise. If we don’t fully feel the emotions they may pass out of our awareness for the moment but they linger, often associating with similar feelings.
Sometimes the feelings are too intense in the moment and they get in the way of things we need to do. So we disassociate from them. We will have to go back later and attend to them or they will take up residence as unresolved trauma.
Whenever we have an experience that resonates at the same or a similar emotional frequency, those old feelings will come back up. But at this point we will need to do more than just endure them. For healing to happen we need to acknowledge and embrace those old unfelt feelings. If we don’t, they just keep coming up again and again looking for someone to fully witness and validate them.
If, when those feelings come up for us, they are met with rejection, denial, and fear; they are not getting acceptance so healing doesn’t happen. When they are acknowledged, welcomed, and embraced, their energy dissipates and we are at peace.
Hi Mark. Good to hear from you.
This is very nicely said.
Buddhist psychology – which as you know is of great interest to me – certainly advocates fully acknowledging affllictive thoughts and emotions, with the idea that once recognized (and not “fed” by either craving or aversion) these will dissipate. Taken in isolation, this teaching is valuable in and of itself, but provides little pathway to various Western therapy approaches that would delve into one’s history.
The idea that current experience or trauma, even when acknowledged in the here and now, can evoke past experience or trauma that was acknowledged or worked with skillfully at the time (or since) makes it clear why one must at least consider the value of “dredging up the past.”
Yes, as “the past” is in the present until resolved. Thanks, Jon.